Niverville Eager to Shed Raunchy ‘Bedroom Community’ Image


Many Winnipeg residents looking for affordable housing in a peaceful community with an easy commute have settled in the nearby Mennonite town of Niverville, but the ‘bedroom community’ label does not sit well with church elders in the area.

“I’ve heard da Vanapegers are moving here yust because we’re a ‘bedroom community,'” said Elder Peters. “Well, oba, there’s more to Naverville dan what goes on in da bedroom yat.”

Despite misgivings from local elders, city people have been flocking to Niverville in droves.

“We shop, work, and party in the city,” explained new Niverville resident Erica Johnson. “We only drive into Niverville each night to strip off our clothes and get it on!”

In keeping with the ‘bedroom community’ image, some industrious locals have begun renting out rooms by the hour.

“You can rant a hayloft for fafty dollars an hour or the master badroom for a hundred,” said Mr. Friesen. “Vat goes on in there is none of my business yat.”

The elder board will be voting this week on whether to move the entire town fifty miles further down the road in order to make it less attractive to those lewd Vanapagers.

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