KITCHENER, ON
In an effort to draw viewers away from tennis, the International Crokinole Federation (ICF) has recently announced that it will now be requiring all ladies knipsbrat players to wear skirts “above the knee.”
“If professional tennis can have completely patriarchal and archaic dress codes based on 19th century values, then so can we,” said an ICF spokesperson. “Even though it’s completely unnecessary for the sport, personally I’d much prefer to watch a knipser in a skirt than shorts or pants.”
Beginning June 1st female knipsers will be asked to wear skirts similar to those worn by professional tennis players.
“We’re thinking it will be a big boost to our television ratings,” said the representative. “We all know that competitive sport is not about athleticism or skill but, rather, sex appeal and TV ratings.”
Top ranked women knipsers said they would protest the new requirements and suggested that the focus should be on their fingers and knipsing abilities, rather than dressing in a way that’s appealing to perverted old men.
“Under no circumstances will we adhere to this new law,” said top-ranked crokinoler Dorothy Fehr. “And I can only hope that someday our friends in professional tennis will follow our lead.”
(photo credit: by waferboard/CC)
