Mennonite Pastor’s Peace Sermon Sparks Riot

WATERLOO, ON

Thirty people were hospitalized and there was an estimated $12 million in property damage after Reverend Hershberger preached a twenty minute sermon on the topic of peace this past Sunday. The sermon entitled, “To Remember is to Work for Peace,” was considered by some in the community as an affront to the foundational violence upon which our society rests.

“I can’t believe the nerve of that pastor,” said one rioter, before tossing a Molotov cocktail into the church yard. “To talk about peace…and so close to Remembrance Day yet!”

The trouble began about five minutes into the sermon, when an outraged parishioner stormed out of the building and set fire to the pastor’s Datsun. Soon after dozens of equally angry church-goers followed suit, enraged by the pastor’s talk of peace and love.

“What kind of vile filth is this!” said one angry man holding a jerry can full of gasoline. “You can’t just read the words of Jesus like that from the pulpit of a Christian church without expecting this kind of a reaction.”

After causing considerable damage to church property, the rioters soon started fighting with each other, a brawl that led to dozens of broken bones and bloodshed.

“I knew there was going to be trouble the moment he started reading the Beatitudes,” said one witness. “That is some real provocative stuff.”