Mennonite Man Sues Beer Company for ‘False Advertising’

HOFFNUNGSFELD, MB

After being inspired by countless commercials for ‘lite refreshing beer’ during Winnipeg Blue Bomber rain delays, local man Henry Froese decided to sample the product for the first time, but was sorely disappointed with the experience.

“Apparently this stuff is supposed to get Enjelsch women to take their clothes off and dance around and so on,” said Froese, “but it just does nothing but make me have to pee a lot.”

Froese noted that he waited until well into his 40s before trying a beer, but finally decided to give it a whirl, since nothing else seemed to be working.

“Over the years, I tried everything to get myself a Frü,” said Froese. “Young People’s, then the Singles group at church, then the bar in Marchand, and even one of those websites yet, but none of it worked, so finally I decided to crack open a Lite Beer just like they show on the television…but nothing happened.”

Froese complains that the ad neglected to mention increasing your chances with the ladies by “showering, brushing my teeth or putting on some pit stick. It never said that stuff once. I think it’s false advertising.”

“The worst part is,” said Froese, summing up his first experience with beer, “that it tastes like crap compared to my mother’s Plüma Mooss.”

(Photo credit: Ben Eekhof/CC/Modified)