Local man Andrew R. Penner has declared himself a prophet of God after he accurately predicted there would be heavy rain this Victoria Day long weekend.
“See, look, I told you so,” said Mr. Penner. “Rain, nothing but rain, just as I prophesied. I guess I have a gift.”
After his eerily accurate prediction of rain this weekend, Mr. Penner has been called upon by members of West Mitchell EMB to make predictions about their personal lives.
“Will I finally find love at the church picnic this spring?”
“Does Heinrich have a thing for me?”
“Should I apply at Loewen’s or Barkman’s?”
“How will the flax do this year?”
“Will Aunt Lina’s salsa irritate my ulser?”
…and so on.
Mr. Penner is also predicting snow sometime this winter with conditions suitable for sledding and skating “for sure” by mid-January if not sooner.
(photo credit: by Nicolas Lannuzel/CC)