Mennonite Man Almost Fornicates With His Own Wife

LA CRETE, AB

After hearing a fiery sermon on marital purity at the local Mennonite church, area man Mr. Petey B. Krahn has vowed never to fornicate with his wife again. However, he nearly broke his vow after his wife Susie sweetened him up with half a bottle of dandelion wine.

“I just realized I was enjoying my wife too much,” said Petey Krahn. “I may have even had one or two lustful thoughts about her.”

Krahn has been taught that any pleasure, even within the confines of marriage, is sinful.

“Marital intimacy is only for baby-making, not for recreation,” said Krahn. “Recreational intercourse is known as fornication…at least that’s what Reverend Peters says.”

Despite his wife’s attempts at loosening him up, Krahn has so far been able to keep to his vow.

“I’m not too worried. He makes a new pledge every Sunday,” says Mrs. Krahn. “I’m sure than by the end of the week he’ll be ready to break. He always does.”

(photo credit: by bark )