Mennonite Lingerie Now Available at Aganetha’s Secret

ALTONA, MB

Ladies all around the Altona area are really excited about the opening of a new store that specializes in Mennonite lingerie. Started by local woman Mrs. Aganetha Siemens, 63, the new store features undergarments for the discerning Mennonite lady.

“Just imagine whatever your grandmother wore, and we’ve got it,” said Mrs. Siemens. “We’re bringing back bloomers, girdles, and corsets, in addition to our extensive line of slips designed specifically to hang just a little longer than your hemline.”

Siemens says most of her clients find the lingerie at the city stores to be “far too sexy.”

“They always ask their husbands to stay in the car when they go to those city stores,” says Siemens. “But at Aganetha’s Secret, we’ve even got a little coffee shop for the men to sit and <em>spetsuare </em>while their wives are trying on a new pair of thick brown nylons.”

Mrs. Siemens recommends that ladies roll their pantyhose down to the ankles and wear them basically like socks with a nice pair of white sneakers.

“I’m happy to give fashion tips to anyone who’s willing to listen,” said Siemens, removing a curler from her hair. “With all these great products, I’m confident that Aganetha’s Secret won’t be a secret for long!”

(photo credit: Mike Kalasnik/CC)