Mennonite Lady Uses Google Earth to Spy on Neighbours

BLUMENGART, MB

Mrs. Kleinsasser of the Blumengart area has discovered a fancy new tool to find out all the latest news about the neighbours: Google Earth. Ever since being shown the online tool by her grandson Timothy, she has spent every waking moment peering into the backyards and front windows of every EMC family in Blumengart.

“Oba, the Internets has just revolutionized the gossiping-industry,” said Kleinsasser. “I no longer have to rely on what Mrs. Bergmann or Mrs. Plett has to say, because with just the click of a few buttons I can zoom in there on the Funks or Walls and find out for myself.”

Kleinsasser is especially impressed with the ability to see the condition of Mrs. Groening’s garden and observe whose roof might need reshingling.

“With a roof in that condition, I just don’t know where those Loewens are spending their money: probably booze,” said Kleinsasser. “Also the Duecks have never told me about their inground swimming pool!”

Luckily for Mrs. Kleinsasser, Google Earth cameras also happened to catch Mr. Penner in a particularly compromising position.

“Mowing his lawn on a Sunday yet,” said Kleinsasser. “Not to mention with his shirt off! I’ll be sure to report him to the elder board for sure yet.”

Mrs. Kleinsasser’s grandson Timothy says he now regrets teaching grandma how to use Google Earth, but is relieved she has yet to discover Snapchat.