LA CRETE, AB
Local man Harry Kehler is being awarded the Pulitzer Prize this weekend for his “uncanny ability” to detect when an otherwise completely believable article is fake news.
“The man’s skills are remarkable,” said Pulitzer Prize board member Anita Carson. “He knew right away that Donald Trump wasn’t really caught in a menage-a-trois with Vladimir Putin and Kim Jun-Un and pointed out the Onion article as ‘fake!’ in the comments. The man’s talents know no limits.”
Ever since he first heard about this thing called “fake news” from Donald Trump during the campaign, Mr. Kehler has been ultra-vigilant in pointing out the obvious to all his friends, who are eternally grateful for his services to the country.
“I just don’t know what I’d do without Harry Kehler to tell me the article about Taylor Swift dating Senator Joseph McCarthy wasn’t real,” said reluctant acquaintance Samuel Dueck. “I was kept up all night worrying about poor innocent Taylor. Thankfully, Mr. Kehler came to my rescue sometime around 2 in the morning when he posted the word FAKE in all caps and a lot of exclamation marks below the article. Oba, that was helpful.”
After being honoured with a Pulitzer Prize, Mr. Kehler is also being recruited by the local police department to solve a number of cold case murders.
“We showed him a photograph of a gruesome homicide,” said a local La Crete officer. “And he immediately blurted out ‘Looks fishy to me!’ I knew right away this man was detective material.”
While Mr. Kehler still can’t tell the difference between fake news and satire, his uncanny ability to just “know” when something is off, coupled with his incredible social media prowess, has been heralded as the greatest gift to journalism since the invention of the printing press.
(photo credit: Henry Burrows/CC)