Local Church Implements ‘No Re-Entry’ Policy, Smokers Furious

WINNIPEG, MB

Waters of Blessing, a Winnipeg-area megachurch, has recently announced that they will no longer allow people to re-enter the building once they have left.

“We’re sick and tired of people leaving for a smoke right in the middle of ‘Here I am to Worship,'” said Associate Pastor Darryl. “When you come to a church service you need to stay here from beginning to end. We’re also shutting down the bathrooms so that people will stick around for Pastor Dick’s sermons.”

The new policy has Christian smokers fuming.

“It’s like they don’t want us in there (cough, cough),” said local Christian smoker Christopher B. “I mean back home in Altona (cough, cough) they used to have a smoking section right in the sanctuary and now they won’t even let us come back in after a smoke (cough) in the parking lot?”

The church had considered creating a smoking patio, but determined it was too close to the Sunday School entrance and might set a bad example.

“I’m sorry, but the only acceptable drugs around here is copious amounts of caffeine and Welch’s grape juice,” said Darryl. “Nicotine is not allowed! If you’ve got to smoke so badly then join the Lutheran church.”

The no re-entry policy is set for implementation sometime after the church picnic this summer.

(photo credit: by Jason Tong/CC)