Liquor Store Undergoes Expansion; Now the Largest Church in Town


After a massive expansion to the local liquor store, residents of a small Mennonite town are now admitting that it’s the “largest church in town.”

“More people stop by to pick up a two-four of Molson Canadian every weekend than go to church on Sunday,” said area farmer Billy Friesen. “I mean last Sunday I think the Friesens and Duecks were the only ones there.”

Friesen also acknowledges that there were a few Walls and Hildebrandts in attendance as well but, overall, this pales in comparison to the volume of traffic through the newly expanded liquor store.

“I thought our church expansion back in ’87 was big,” says Friesen. “We got a gymnasium and a brand new lobby, but now the liquor store has got us beat.”

Friesen says he hopes the tide will turn and restore Alt-Bergfeld MBCM to its rightful position as the largest most powerful church in town, but is not too optimistic for the near future.

“Everyone worships,” says Friesen. “The opium of the masses isn’t always religion. Sometimes it’s actually, you know, opium…or maybe even Bud Light.”

(photo credit: by Phillip Pessar/CC)

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