Hillary Clinton Pledges Billions to Fight Her Own Pneumonia

WASHINGTON, DC

Days after coming down with a bout of pneumonia…or allergies…or something, Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is pledging to spend billions in federal money to fight her own illness, whatever the heck it is.

“Once I’m President, my first priority will be to take some time off, rest, and figure out this pneumonia thing,” said Clinton. “It may cost billions, but I think it’s worth it to have a President who’s in peak physical condition.”

Meanwhile, Trump’s campaign is suggesting the illness may be something much more serious than pneumonia.

“Who knows if three billion dollars will be enough to pay for her treatment,” said Trump. “It’s not like that’s a lot of money. I spend that much on cufflinks every year.”

Still, Clinton remains optimistic.

“If we can beat the Russians to the moon, we can surely outspend them on Presidential health care services,” said Clinton. “Besides, I think I might be covered by Obamacare.”

(Photo credit: by Nrbelex/CC)