Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record

BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS, UT

The Giesbrecht family of Grunthal, Manitoba has just set a new land speed record of more than 715 km/h (444 mph) at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. With Mr. Peter Giesbrecht at the helm of their trusty Dodge Caravan, the family defied expectations and shattered the previous record by a considerable margin.

“I’m sure glad we brought along enough car seats so that the whole family could share this moment together,” said Mr. Giesbrecht. “I’m just amazed we were able to reach that kind of speed with the trunk full of groceries.”

Although Mr. Giesbrecht is garnering much of the media attention for the feat, experts say the real hero here is Mrs. Giesbrecht, who was able to keep Bethany, 9, Dylan, 7, Brittany, 6, Andrew, 5, Mikey, 2, and Aganetha, 6 months, occupied with Veggie Tales movies and teething biscuits while her husband attempted to get the Caravan up to speed.

“When people think of fast vehicles they usually think of Lamborghinis and Bugattis and maybe a Honda Odyssey or something like that,” said Mrs. Giesbrecht. “I’m glad we were able to show all the doubters just what a 2007 Dodge Caravan is capable of.”

The news has sent shockwaves throughout the racing world. Top ranked Formula 1 driver Sebastian Vettel announced he would be leaving Ferrari at the end of the season for the new Dodge Caravan team.

“All those years of being stuck in traffic behind a Mennonite family in a Caravan,” said Vettel. “I just knew they were faking it. This proves it.”

The previous land speed record was held by a Mormon family from Ogden, Utah who reached more than 420 mph in their Ford Aerostar van back in 2001.

(photo credit: John Lloyd/CC/modified)