DNA Testing Reveals Theologian Greg Boyd to be ‘90% Mennonite’

ST. PAUL, MN

After sending away for one of those DNA home testing kits, Greg Boyd, renowned author and pastor of Woodland Hills Church in St. Paul, discovered he was almost entirely Mennonite. The new improved test enable users to determine their theological DNA from a small amount of saliva.

“It really was a shock, because I always thought I was maybe some sort of Presbyterian or something,” said Boyd. “But when the test results came back it was overwhelmingly Menno. I had no idea these DNA tests could reveal theological distinctions with such accuracy.”

Boyd says the new information is causing him to rethink a number of important aspects of his life.

“I guess I’ll have to start consuming massive amounts of rhubarb platz,” said Boyd. “Plus I’ll have to dig a little deeper to see how my open theism and annihilationist views fit with my newfound ethno-religious grouping.”

Although he was quite shocked with the results, Boyd admits he’s had an inkling that there might be some Mennonite blood in him for quite some time.

“I wrote The Myth of a Christian Nation while consuming copious amounts of vegetarian borscht, ” said Boyd. “If you look closely, you can find traces of Menno all over that manuscript, including quite a few borscht spills.”

(Photo credit: by justgrimes )