Dishes are Miraculously Washed as Mennonite Man Naps on Sunday Afternoon


After devouring a delicious meal of schinke fleish and fried potatoes, local man Henry Wiebe, 47, decided to unbutton his pants, kick up his feet, and lie down in the living room while the Wiebe women did the dishes and cleared the table.

“Sunday is a day of rest,” said Wiebe. “I wouldn’t want to have to put my eternal salvation at risk by helping Martha and Annie with the dishes.”

Wiebe has made a habit of sitting on his ass and not helping out ever since he was a little boy. It’s a proud Mennonite tradition he plans to pass on to his children.

“I’m not sure how it happens, but somehow the table is cleared and dishes are clean,” said Wiebe. “It’s amazing. The table is all messy, I go lay down for a nice meddachschlop, and when I wake up, the dining room is spotless. It’s a miracle!”

The Miracle of the Washed Dishes is being attributed to the pious and devout faith of our Mennonite men.

“The only explanation I have for this miracle is that God must be blessing us men for our righteousness,” said Wiebe. “I don’t want to brag or anything, but I am a pretty darn righteous fellow.”

The holy faith of Mennonite men has also been claimed as the cause of the miraculous Taking Out of the Garbage, Vacuuming of the Living Room, and Midnight Roll in the Hay.

(photo credit: Way Tru/CC)

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