Daily Bonnet Launches New Satire Site for the Hypersensitive and Easily Offended

STEINBACH, MB

For almost two years The Daily Bonnet has brought mildly biting satire into Mennonite homes across the globe. Now the creators of the Daily Bonnet have launched an all new website that features blatant plagiarism from The Daily Bread devotional guide. The hope is this new site will be acceptable to even the most hypersensitive and easily offended of people.

“We found there were some people who just couldn’t stomach jokes about schmaunt fat, Tide Pods, and socks with sandals,” said Daily Bonnet founder Andrew J. Bergman. “So, we’ve decided to tone things down a little. Not only will the content be utterly innocuous, but we’re also providing each email subscriber with a monthly supply of Kleenex just in case, despite our efforts to avoid offence, they still break down in tears.”

The new site will feature pleasant and comforting devotionals, each with an amusing anecdote by a local pastor. The new posts will also include a verse from the least edgy parts of the Bible.

“It’s the sort of material even your Taunte Liza could enjoy. Frankly, I’m not comfortable getting into the Song of Solomon or most of Leviticus. That’s bound to upset someone,” said Bergman. “We’ll just stick to the Beatitudes and the pleasant parts of the Psalms.”

The new site will reward readers with gold stickers every time they read an article all the way through without being deeply and personally offended.

However, not everyone liked the idea.

“Outrageous! This idea is way over the line!” exclaimed Mrs. Penner. “I’m extremely offended! Trying not to offend me is the most offensive idea the Daily Bonnet has ever come up with!”

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