Dad Spares Rod, Son Not Spoiled


In a bold experimental parenting move, local Mennonite dad Tim Fehr spoke calmly with his 8-year-old son Nathaniel and explained the situation to him, rather than hauling out the belt. To the shock of the entire Fehr family, Nathaniel did not feel spoiled at all and instead demonstrated a mature and respectful tone the rest of the day.

“What my Dad said made sense. I shouldn’t be talking back to my mother like that,” said Nathaniel. “I’d never had anyone explain it me like that before. There was always just a spanking the moment I did anything wrong. But this whole talking-through-your-problems thing really worked out well for me. I actually prefer it to spanking.”

Researchers at the Centre for Mennonite Parenting say they’ve been noticing a trend toward sparing the rod in recent years.

“For centuries we believed the cause of lippy disrespectful attitudes in our children was a lack of adequate rod usage,” explained Centre spokesperson Mrs. Wiebe. “But now I see that the rod may have actually been the cause of it.”

As a result of this startling new information, the Centre for Mennonite Parenting is shifting their focus a little and is now officially recommending that parents ‘Spoil the Child and Spare the Rod.’

“Let’s try this out for a few decades and see how well it works,” said Wiebe. “If the children still can’t keep their hands to themselves in church in the year 2048, then we can go back to the old system.”

As a result of the new law, church bathrooms have been closed to Mennonite fathers for discipline purposes and reserved exclusively for actually doing a number 1 or 2.

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