Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms

SASKATOON, SK

Mr. Peter Friesen, choir director at Third Mennonite Church in Saskatoon, admitted in a candid interview this past week that he’s basically just standing up there and flailing his arms about randomly.

“It’s all meaningless,” confessed Friesen. “I moved them up, I move them down, I pinch together my fingers. None of it means anything. The choir knows what to do…”

Friesen has been known to occasionally turn around and attempt to direct the congregation in the singing of a hymn, but admits that this too is just an act.

“I’ve got no control over those people,” said Friesen. “I mean my arms go up and Mrs. Reimer goes into falsetto. My arms go down and Mr. Fehr sings the echo part. It’s absolute chaos.”

Friesen said he’s taken a few moves from air traffic controllers, while others he’s learned while eavesdropping on his wife’s yoga DVDs.

“I get inspiration from everywhere,” said Friesen, “but let me tell you, I’m certain I’m not the only one up there faking it on Sunday morning. You really think that kid in the skinny jeans doing the Praise and Worship songs knows what he’s doing?”

Inspired by Mr. Friesen’s frankness, Pastor Dave also admitted that his Sunday morning pulpit-pounding was just for show.

(photo credit: COD Newsroom/CC)

5 Alcoholic Beverages You Can Easily Sneak Past the Elders
Mennonite Pastor Hides Geocache in Church to Attract New Members