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The Outside World

Donald Trump’s Tax Returns Reveal 10% Tithe to Mennonite Church

October 2, 2016 Andrew J. Bergman

WASHINGTON, DC After significant public pressure, Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump has finally released his tax returns and the results are quite unexpected. Although the documents show that Trump has not paid any federal taxes for […]

The Outside World

World Panics as Every Single Person’s Internet Browsing History is Exposed on Wikileaks

September 20, 2016 Andrew J. Bergman

REYKJAVIK, ICELAND People around the globe are in crisis today as somebody made public the Internet browsing history of every person on Earth. With a simple search, users can now look up a convenient list […]

The Outside World

Hillary Clinton Pledges Billions to Fight Her Own Pneumonia

September 14, 2016 Andrew J. Bergman

WASHINGTON, DC Days after coming down with a bout of pneumonia…or allergies…or something, Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is pledging to spend billions in federal money to fight her own illness, whatever the heck it is. […]

The Outside World

“Not Only Does the New iPhone Suck, But It’s Also a Sin”

September 13, 2016 Andrew J. Bergman

LA CRETE, AB While millions of people around the world clamour to get their hands on the latest Apple product, Mennonite leaders are working together with Samsung and others to convince congregants that the new […]

The Outside World

Fox News Sold to Group of Mennonite Investors; New Channel to Promote ‘Peace, Love, and Understanding’

September 13, 2016 Andrew J. Bergman

NEW YORK, NY Following a $12 billion bid for the notorious news outlet, a group of pacifist Mennonite investors has successfully taken ownership of Fox News and are planning to turn it into a channel that promotes […]

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