LONDON, UK A popular new biopic, Blumenort Rhapsody, reveals a side of Freddie Mercury’s life that has remained untold until now. From 1978-1982, the Queen singer secretly lived among the Mennonites of southern Manitoba. “At the […]
WASHINGTON, DC President Donald Trump has over-stepped Congress and declared a “national emergency” after reports out of Kansas indicate that the nation’s Mennonite farmer sausage supply was at an all-time low. “Mr. Wall of Newton […]
LAKE WINNIPEG, MB Manitobans have been sporting swimwear this entire week after temperatures reached daytime highs of -15 degrees celsius. The temperatures are so unseasonably warm that beaches will be opening early this year. “It’ll […]
MIAMI, FL After a dreadful half-time performance by crap-band Maroon 5 at Super Bowl LIII, the National Football League has announced that “from now on, the only entertainment you’re gonna get is a few old […]
HOLLYWOOD, CA Superstar Jennifer Lawrence is planning to take a break from her blockbuster career by staring in a small independent Mennonite film tentatively titled, ‘The Unger Games.’ “It was time I got back in […]
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