After a nationwide recall that pulled thousands of bottles of gin off Canadian shelves for being too boozy, Mennonite closet-drinkers were left without their beloved Bombay Sapphire. Here are a few of their reactions. “As […]
MORDEN, MB In a recent sting operation, the Winkler Vice Squad have arrested yet another Winklerite drinking at the Morden Bar. The unnamed individual has been arraigned under charges of Treason, Heresy, and Drinking in Moderation. “This is […]
LEAMINGTON, ON A Sunday smorgasbord at a local diner turned into a feeding frenzy, with area Mennonite families sneaking their beloved pets into the buffet line. By just 12:30 the roast beef was completely gone because […]
TABER, AB A new study out of the University of Southern Alberta has shown that forcing rebellious Mennonites to eat large quantities of raw onions is significantly more effective at preventing swearing than making them drink castor […]
GOSHEN, IN More than a dozen Mennonite ladies were taken into custody last night after police were called to break up the wildest Tupperware party Goshen has ever seen. “We were alerted to the problem […]
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