Albertans Gladly ‘Render Unto Notley What is Notley’s’

EDMONTON, AB

Three months after Alberta Premier Rachel Notley introduced a new carbon tax in the oil rich province, millions of Albertans have responded with unprecedented positivity that pundits have described as “remarkably Christlike.”

“We’re seeing a wave of support for the new tax,” said political scientist Bob Larson. “It seems that Albertans are not worrying themselves with a few dollars here or there and are, instead, expressing how grateful to God they are to live in such a prosperous province.”

Albertans have traditionally been averse to taxation, but are now finding a new acceptance of it due to a consultation of the holy scriptures.

“It doesn’t bother me at all,” said Stan Bueckert of Calgary. “I store up my treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not break in and steal and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

Surveys show that Albertans are also ready to accept a Provincial Sales Tax if the government so choose to move in that direction.

“Hey, you know, it’s no big deal. Look at the birds of the air,” said Bueckert. “They certainly don’t sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. As I’ve always told my children, ‘Pay unto Notley, what is Notley’s, and to God what is God’s.'”

(photo credit: by dave.cournoyer )