90% of Heavy Metal Bands Fronted by Pastors’ Sons

HARRISONBURG, VA

A new study out of the University of Middle Harrisonburg reveals that the vast majority of heavy and/or death metal bands are fronted by the sons of pastors, frequently of the Mennonite or Baptist persuasion.

“It’s startling, really,” said Professor Schmidt. “I mean we all knew about a pastor’s son or two that went off the deep end, but apparently the phenomenon is a lot more common than any of us could have predicted.”

From Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, to Slayer and Anthrax, pastor’s sons just seem to be attracted to heavy metal music for some reason.

“I was really surprised to discover that everyone in Metallica other than the drummer is a pastor’s son,” said Schmidt. “And Black Sabbath? Well, all those guys were raised in the homes of Anglican vicars.”

The news came as no surprise to Harrisonburg youth pastor Darryl Darrylson, however.

“I’ve seen every single one of Reverend Yoder’s sons come and go through my youth group,” said Darrylson. “They start with us in seventh grade as the perfect little Sunday School student. Then soon it’s an earring and smoking cigarettes behind the parsonage, then they’re wearing fewer and fewer white-collared shirts and more and more tattered black T-shirts and the next thing you know they’re covering Pantera songs and drinking lite beer in the garage.”

The study also revealed that almost all of the raunchiest pop singers are pastors’ daughters.