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Month: March 2017

Mennonite Life

Beet Borscht or Murder Scene?

March 27, 2017 Andrew J. Bergman

GRUNTHAL, MB There was a brief moment on Sunday when Grunthal police thought they had stumbled upon the town’s first ever murder scene. “We were really excited,” said Officer Krahn. “A murder in Grunthal! Finally some real […]

Uncategorized

Local Man Caught Between Hatred of Donald and Rabid Obsession with Ivanka

March 26, 2017 Andrew J. Bergman

GOSHEN, IN Local man Pete B. Esau, 27, of the Goshen area has gone through considerable anguish over the past few months as he just can’t seem to reconcile his total distaste for the policies […]

Uncategorized

Mennonite Woman Jumps Out of Giant Shoofly Pie at Church Picnic

March 24, 2017 Andrew J. Bergman

LANCASTER, PA Harkening back to raunchy bachelor parties of the 1950s, the Southeast Lancaster MMCC church decided to surprise guests at their annual spring picnic by having Mrs. Agnes Bender, 83, pop out of a […]

The Outside World

Fred Penner’s Cat Fails to Return

March 24, 2017 Andrew J. Bergman

WINNIPEG, MB Legendary family entertainer Fred Penner was spotted searching his neighbourhood this past weekend for his beloved cat Ralph after the 7-year-old British Shorthair failed to return home following a brief sojourn in Winnipeg. “We looked […]

Mennonite Life

That Old Time Religion is Good Enough for Uncle Henry

March 23, 2017 Andrew J. Bergman

WALDESRUH, MB At a family get-together this past week, Uncle Henry proclaimed to any young person who would listen that he didn’t need none of this new fangled religion because the old time variety was more […]

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March 2017
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